Ellie's worst nightmare
by watty94
Summary: This is what happens when me and my friend start discussing fanfics. Pure crack, lots of it. Characters will die, travel across the country and mix with people that they would never normally mix with. Plus whatever else my deranged mine can come up with. This is not meant to be serious and does not have a plot that makes sense. Tony/Loki
1. Chapter 1

**So this came about when me and my friend ( .com) were discussing our worst nightmares in terms of fanfics (I had just read a really good fic that ended with a character death and I hated it) when I decided to write a plan for her worst nightmare. This was the result, each chapter will be between 300 and 600 words of pure crack. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Simples.**

Ellie's nightmare

It was a beautiful day on Earth and lots of people were outside soaking up the best of the sun. Included in this concrete collective noun were the agents of Stark or something like that (I don't really know). Naturally this group of agents also included Loki because after all he had just helped to save the world and redeemed himself not to mention Tony liked him so much that he would never leave him out (But shush because no one knows this, apart from Tasha but she's a women so that's expected). At this point in time that I am referring to this international superspy was oh so subtly checking out Clint's ass (although everyone could see this as this ship was being brought out of subtext and into text). As it was such a beautiful day the group were eating a load of ice creams. Naturally Tony was making a mess with his (just because it fits alright) and acting a lot like a child, quoting films here there and everywhere. Loki took one look at his face and switched into his maternal counterpart in order to take care of Tony in the correct fashion (mind out of the gutter!) and wiped his face before getting him to behave in the way only a mother can. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you ship them) Tony had other ideas and attempted to barrel his way past Loki but was unsuccessful due to the sneakiness of Tasha who was trying to play matchmaker and had stuck out her foot resulting in both Tony and Loki tumbling to the ground, limbs entangled. Clint was particularly impressed with this move and took to staring at Tasha which resulted in everybody but Tony and Loki leaving (how convenient) because the UST barometer was measuring off the scale and let's face it, no one wanted to be called a cockblocker.

Once Tasha and Clint finally decided to break their Eye Sex they noticed that everyone had left and decided to follow suit strolling off together, not quite holding hands but close enough that they brushed together with every step. This left Tony and Loki alone on the floor not moving and staring at each other when Tony felt something vibrate. This made both characters jump in surprise and Loki hurry to climb off of Tony in the least awkward way possible. Realising it was his phone that was vibrating Tony pulled it out of his pocket while attempting to avoid all eye contact with Loki as this would make him blush very red. Reading his text he was unable to control the blush as it was from Tasha containing only three words; JUST DO IT. Seeking another oh so subtle glance at Loki (which really wasn't that subtle) Tony decided to follow that advice and launched himself at Loki again which resulted in another tumble to the ground, the difference this time being that they were joined at the lips as well as every other body part. Not caring where they were (as every single person had conveniently disappeared) Loki took note of what was happening and kissed back, pouring his soul into Tony and double checking his mouth pretty thoroughly while doing so. Then, all of a sudden and other melodramatic words Loki pulled Tony up and they skipped hand in hand to the tower to continue with their shenanigans.


	2. Chapter 2

**So yeah. My friend is actually forcing me to write this though I don't really know why. Also, apparently I put it in the wrong section so I'm just going to point out that I have never, ever seen Avengers so everything I am writing I have absorbed through listening to friends' conversations... Again, I am aware that little sense is made and it is written really badly.**

**Kiss and make babies**

Having successfully skipped their way back to the tower (only stopping 23 times to continue the lip lock) Tony and Loki crept their way up a couple of staircases. Loki wanted to play around in the R and D level (whatever that is) but Tony was far more interested in playing out one of his fantasies. Walking the 17th floor corridor the couple (I think we can call them that now) made their way towards the cupboard that Loki new housed a couple of brooms. Stopping briefly in front of another cupboard Tony pressed a quick kiss to Loki's lips and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Loki looked on confused while Tony double checked that the cupboard they were in front of was actually an empty one and not the one currently occupied by Clint and Tasha (conveniently everyone else had left the tower). It was. This pleased Tony and he hurriedly grabbed Loki by his long flowing hair (supposedly it is, I don't really know) and dragged him inside. This resulted in yet another tumble to the floor (well partial tumble, the cupboard was rather small). However, neither breathing thing with two legs (I can hardly call them men, Loki is a god) really cared. After all, they did only have one thing on their mind. Sex.

What followed was a rather frenzied tearing of clothes off of bodies and the throwing of said clothes over shoulders. Accidently Tony managed to successfully get his sock wedged on the rather dim lightbulb leaving the room in darkness. This made the whole situation seem more mysterious and both made the simultaneous decision to carry on regardless. There was a lot of awkward fumbling but eventually Loki managed to gain the upper hand (well duh, he is a god) and had his way with Tony. Several hours and several orgasms later the two finally rose for air. They just lay in each other's loving embrace (n'aww isn't that sweet) for a while before Loki realised that he was meant to be meeting his brother Thor for dinner in 3 minutes and 2 seconds. He hurried to grab his clothes and redressed himself as quick as possible pausing only to drop kisses all over Tony's body (yes, all over his body) before legging it out the door. Running down the corridors he bumped into Clint and Tasha who both wore ephemeral grins of relief and love for each other as well as having that unmistaken after-sex smell. Loki was unable to stop and congratulate them however as he was really late by now so he kept running, disappointed at himself for leaving his lover behind him without so much of a goodbye but all the same ecstatic that things had finally happened between them. Back in the broom cupboard Tony was feeling the same way and spent the next 20 minutes jumping up in an attempt to grab his sock from the light before running out into the corridor and releasing his joy in a yell (boy, was it a good job the place was empty).


End file.
